Y’all need all-year round romance, which is why we asked our new residents to ‘Dilly-cise’ classics from that ol’ bard of the boudoir, William Shakespeare. Use the following with caution and please not we are not liable for any adverse (or favourable *nudge nudge wink wink*) outcomes.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Well, for starters, you’re all sweaty and uncomfortable...”

“O she doth teach the torches to burn bright, but so did Dr Frankenstein when he went all rogue with that monster business and the villagers came after him. So, swings and roundabouts, there.”

“Maybe parting is such sweet sorrow because there’s cake at the other end, which would be why it was sweet. Ooh maybe that’s what he meant? Is there cake? Why is there no cake?”